thank you, reddit.
I had a dream about him last night. It was one of many negative dreams ridden with anxiety.. in it we were hanging out in town, and his presence, his face, was so vivid. and that was incredibly painful. so much so that I was bitter, making unnecessary passive aggressive comments evidencing my frustration with his non-upkeep of our friendship. but that’s not what I will be like when that day comes. it might come soon. i very well might avoid it entirely. things are going so well for me, i have little interest in dedicating my time to anyone who while we once cared for each other deeply he has expressed barely any interest in even my livelihood over the past 3 months of many changes. so much to talk about, but very little talk. stupid him. stupid dreams. i forgot for a while. but life is so good now, i see how everything happened for a reason, how awesome things now would not exist had everything not fallen to pieces this summer. i just want to forget everything.
fuck your broken smile.
The sun came up and five years gone
Life goes on, yeah, life goes on
I wonder how you’re gettin’ by
The sun goes down and I feel blue
Now I toss ‘cause my mind’s on you
And I kind of miss your broken smile…
if one day someone fucks me as hard and passionately as the guys from mumford & sons play the banjo i will be happy with my life
The Koch Brothers — Bernie Sanders
bernie sanders of vermont, champion of the people
kisses kept are wasted
love is to be tasted
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the sweet earth’s flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day, 5
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain. 10
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.”
So, Imagine that the company you work for held a poll, and asked everyone if they thought it would be a good idea to put a soda machine in the break room. The poll came back, and the majority of your colleagues said “Yes”, indicating that they would like a soda machine. Some said no, but the majority said yes. So, a week later, there’s a soda machine. Now imagine that Bill in accounting voted against the soda machine. He has a strong hatred for caffeinated soft drinks, thinks they are bad you you, whatever. He campaigns throughout the office to get the machine removed. Well, management decides “OK, we’ll ask again” and again, the majority of people say “Yes, lets keep the soda machine.” Bill continues to campaign, and management continues to ask the employees, and every time, the answer is in favor of the soda machine. This happens, lets say… 35 times. Eventually, Bill says “OK, I’M NOT PROCESSING PAYROLL ANYMORE UNTIL THE SODA MACHINE IS REMOVED”, so nobody will get paid unless management removes the machine. What should we do???
Answer: Fire Bill and get someone who will do the fucking job.
Bonus: Bill tells everyone that he was willing to “Negotiate”, to come to a solution where everyone got their payroll checks, but only so long as that negotiation capitulated to his demand to remove the soda machine.
Bill is a fucking jackass.”
Spoken word on the friend zone.
"My personal understanding is that the mythical friend zone is a situation in which a guy (or girl, but usually guy) has unstated, unrequited feelings for another person, and sticks around doing nice things (read, being a friend) under the impression that a certain number of nice things will magically open up the possibility of a sexual/romantic relationship with the object of their affection, and is pissed/affronted when they discover that no, the person still does not want to fuck them. This is closely linked to Nice Guy™ Syndrome, in which the crush-er cannot understand why the crush-ee won’t sleep with them/be with them because he’s "such a nice guy and you only date assholes!"
My understanding is that the term speaks to the male entitlement in our culture, and the idea that a man is owed sex for being a decent person. (A cookie, if you will). It highlights the idea that a woman’s company is only desirable if it is a gateway to sex/romance, and is not desirable in and of itself.”
Thank you Jezebel I love you.
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
I want to know if you can
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,”Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
got my heart walked on. first time in years. it is painful, but there is something beautiful about swimming in a wet wound. this space is good. painfully healthy. and I respect him being true to himself. just sorry I got stuck and dragged behind the vehicle of growing up and listening to ourselves.
this summer was a lesson on listening to that inner voice. and of never ever again letting another person fall into the forefront of my life. personal journey first, always, loves and lovers always come after.
never stop doing your own thing. everything else follows when you love you first.